02 Feb These three little words can help you land your next promotion

I wish I’d met Carla Harris sooner. My 25 year old self could have used her candor and insights. My 40 year old self is in a much better position, but damn, her pearls of wisdom still apply. I have her to thank for this simple, powerful professional growth hack.

When Carla took the stage I didn’t know what I was getting into. We’d been through 5 financial executives (all but one were white men) and to be honest — my expectations were pretty low. (Seriously…how many men were going to speak at an Executive Women’s event?) She saved the day: Within moments everyone in the room was happily sitting in the palm of her hand.

I’d say she is a force of nature but that seems to belittle the humor, warmth and wisdom that ride shotgun to her strength and a razor sharp intellect. Clearly, this woman knows how to lead and hold her space. If you haven’t seen her speak, take a few minutes to watch her TED talk. (Your welcome.)

In a field that is vastly dominated by white men, this strong, thoughtful, black woman would go on to become economic advisor to President Obama and VP at one of the largest financial institutions in the world. She even found time to write two leadership books along the way AND she sings…professionally. (Carla has performed many times, including five sold-out, solo Gospel concerts at Carnegie Hall. So far she’s given $1 million in proceeds to charity.)

Carla’s the first to admit that she’s “Negatively Motivated.”
Tell her she can’t do something and she’s hell-bent to prove you wrong. 

That’s also clear in her career trajectory. In Jacksonville, Florida her high school counselor who told her not to bother applying to ivy league schools. She disregarded that and applied to 4…all of them wanted her. At Harvard she ignored advice to avoid mergers and acquisitions and dove in. Upon graduation, Carla was promptly scooped up by Morgan Stanley. 30 years later she is its Vice Chairman of Wealth Management.

IT HASN’T BEEN ALL ROSES.
Meritocracy. Perception. Strategy.

She worked her way up but it definitely wasn’t all roses and unicorns at Morgan Stanley. Carla quickly saw that the “meritocracy” that she had been sold wasn’t actually how business worked. Being smart and working hard weren’t enough…after a few years she understood that not everyone rises as fast as others. She wasn’t being promoted like male peers she continually outperformed. 

In the audience we all nodded. This was no surprise. Many of us have been there or coached others through similar hurdles. But it was how she faced this brutal lesson that I will never forget… Carla shared a key moment that forever shifted her trajectory. The moment she realized that while bias was likely a factor — she was playing an active part in her own lack of upward motion.

She had been working her ass off on a massive project when a senior manager told her “Carla, you’re really smart. I’m just not sure you’re tough enough for the business.” At first she was outraged. “What was he smoking? Are you kidding me!?” Nothing had been handed to her. Not. One. Thing. Grit had NEVER been something she lacked.  

And, then it hit her: She knew she was tough but if a man she worked with regularly wasn’t seeing it, then she was behaving in a way that was effectively HIDING a key part of herself and closing off real opportunities. 

Perception was killing her career.

In her efforts to be liked and supported she’d softened her “edges” so much that people mistook her polite & thoughtful approach for weakness. Carla realized that she had to be the one to remind them that “tough” was her middle name. 

PEARL OF WISDOM
“Perception is the co-pilot to reality”

Every moment of every day people are “seeing” you through their own lens of reality. Their perception (and bias) can cut your career goals off at the knees. Fortunately, we are not powerless in this process. We can actively train people to see us more clearly.

How do you reset perception? Here’s one way:
Identify 3 adjectives you WANT people to describe you with…even when you are not in the room. 

Occasionally you find a simple process that unlocks a treasure trove of insight and opportunity. This exercise is one of them. I’ve used it several times (with myself and clients) and continue to be amazed at how three little words can have such far reaching impacts on careers and lives.

This exercise targets perception: Yours and other peoples. 
It’s a simple way to shift limiting impressions and nurture positive ones. 
It’s also a quick gut check on goals that sets you on a path to achieve them.

For this to work you have to follow 3 rules: 

• You can’t fake this. They must be part of your nature and skillset. 
• They should align with the business values needed to get the job you seek
• This intersection of your nature & business values is how you must consistently act

Three words.
Three characteristics.
Three reminders of your nature, drive and mission. 

For Carla, this was part of her process. If you want it to be effective for you, be prepared to get really honest with yourself and answer these core questions. It’s well worth the small time you invest in yourself to do it! and is helpful whether you’re looking to become an executive, step into management, or want move laterally to a different kind of job.

• What is the next job I want? 
• What are key traits that are highly valued for that job?
• Which key skills & personality traits of this job are people overlooking in me?
• How can I bring those skills & traits forward? How can I more confidently show those parts of my personality or ability to the world? 
• What patterns of behavior are under-cutting belief (or awareness) about that part of me?

Back to Carla’s story.
One of her adjectives was, you guessed it, “Tough.”

When project leaders asked Carla to review pitches, she started asking, “Does the presenter have a thick skin? Can they take healthy criticism? Because I’m fair, but I’m tough.” She didn’t hide her grit or passion. She spoke up in meetings. She reminded people in words and deeds that being tough was a virtue and she wasn’t afraid to push for what the company needed. Tough. Tough. Tough.

Within a few months she started to hear people saying the word “tough” to describe her and how she worked. It was a complement. 

No one questioned her grit. Not her manager. Not his manager. Not her colleagues. 
Carla was clearly one tough cookie. (During that time Carla went on to manage UPS’s initial public offering. At the time it was the largest in history.)

Never forget that you have the power to shift your story.
Every day is an opportunity to own your skills and strengths. So, get clear on your 3 words and show the world that side of you. 

Perception will follow.  

~Thanks, Carla. It was an honor to meet you. ~

.